While studying couples Gottman found he could predict within five minutes and he has an accuracy rate of 94% if a marriage was going to thrive. According to Dr. Gottman, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” He adds, “The couple knows each other intimately and is well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams. They have abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but also in little ways day in and day out.”
Love Maps
At the heart of our approach is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.
Couples that remain good friends know each other’s likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams. We call this having a richly detailed Love Map.
They remember the major events in each other’s history, and they keep updating their information as the factors and feelings of their spouse’s world change.
Without such a Love Map, you can’t really know your spouse. And if you don’t really know someone, how can you truly love them?
Additional reading
